The Renfrow Story

Yesterday I once again had the pleasure of sitting beside Edith and soaking in her charm and wisdom. I travelled to Chicago along with Tamara and three of the Grinnell College students who are doing Renfrow related research this summer. It was a belated celebration of Edith’s 109th birthday. Each of us had prepared something related to our summer projects to gift to her. It was a joy to watch as each of the students shared with Edith, and I hope the beauty of that experience is something that can be shared in another forum. For my part, I shared a special early edition of the book that I had printed. It includes illustrations that have been completed thus far, combined with historic photos and the text.

In writing this story I have been entrusted with an incredibly valuable treasure. Edith and Alice trust me to get the story right and I feel the weight of that trust to my core. When I shared the story with them for the first time last spring, hearing Edith’s affirmation that I was the one meant to do this helped calm my inner voice of inadequacy and self-doubt. At this point in the process, each time they see illustrations the feedback they give is valuable and appreciated, but also more complicated. They are looking at Erica’s artistic representation of my written version of Edith’s actual life. And sometime’s the details don’t exactly match.

As Erica works on the illustrations, it is a balance of my idea for what the page should contain and her artistic vision and talent. She’s using historic photos and images of the family and town whenever we have them. Illustrations are meant to convey feelings as well as physical representations. But when certain things in the pictures are off according to Edith, we want to honor that as well. So if her mother never wore hats, we need to remove the hat she’s wearing. Her parents surely loved each other and they were certainly proud of Edith, which is what the illustration is focused on conveying. But if they would have never held hands in public, then that needs to be changed as well. So long as we are blessed to have Edith with us, I want to honor the feedback she provides when we can.

We spent quite a bit of time yesterday in conversation about how parenting, especially on the part of fathers, has changed in the last 100 years. The illustration of parents and baby was the main impetus. We were reminded that parenting was much more hands off in general, and that fathers in particular were rarely very involved in child rearing. Edith’s response to this illustration – with the loving parents together doting over their baby – was that it was just not realistic. Her father never would have been there. Childrearing was the role of the mother and the concept of this kind of bonding was a foreign idea. It was a very, very different time in every way. We need to be careful to not paint it with a romanticized version of the past.

There were many other bits of the conversation that I’m still processing, each valued and something to be honored. What I know is I’d rather complete this project right than rush to get it done. Edith won’t see every illustration before it goes to print, but I can take what she has told me and try my best to incorporate it into the whole.

So the work will continue.